🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: ALBERTSONS ON SHATTUCK IS CLOSING PERMANENTLY 🥳 🥳 🥳

 my prayers have been answered everybody there finna be unemployed tho

According to our inside scoop the property owner increased the leasing price and now its too expensive to have an albertsons next to a fucking highway. President donald j trump has failed to keep his promises and has failed the albertsons on shattuck by not keeping it open. 

who will cindy, josh, donel, and debra all vote for now?? was this the work of tariffs and the housing crisis??? or is it the fact they got 3 courtesy clerks named jalen??

the albertsons on shattuck was recently featured in our blog as the 4th best place to visit in protland so make sure to go there while you still got the chance and make sure to look for the most specific complicated and scarce item the store has to offer and then walk around aimlessly in the wrong isle until you see a courtesy clerk clearly doing another job and bother them for 10 minutes about this item the store didnt even know they had. 

if you see a 5'7  lightskin courtesy clerk with glasses make sure to go and ask him while he's sweeping cuz he fs knows and loves helping the sons of albert 👍